It all started back in February 2017, while I was attending one of my university classes; all of a sudden my vagina suddenly started burning. I didn’t know back then, but my life was about to change forever…
At first, my thoughts were that I probably developed some sort of nasty infection, but after several months of vaginal burning and countless gynecologist visits, I was diagnosed with vulvodynia.
Receiving a diagnosis of chronic pain in my mid 20s was absolutely devastating, the constant pain and the diagnosis completely brought me down and my mental health started drastically deteriorating. My days consisted of dragging myself out of bed, going to school, gazing at my vagina- to see if there was something wrong with it, and going to bed.
I was unable to walk more than a few minutes without being in excruciating pain. I wasn’t able to sit, wear underwear or pants, do any sort of physical exercise, and sex was completely out of the equation.
I would just continuously check forums about vulvodynia with the hope to see that people had healed, overcome this intimate pain and they were able to live their lives completely pain free. However, some had been in pain for 20 plus years and then some had healed thanks to acupuncture.
At first, my thoughts were that I probably developed some sort of infection, but after several months of vaginal burning and countless gyno visits, I got diagnosed with vulvodynia. Being diagnosed with chronic pain in my early 20s was devastating, the pain and the diagnosis completely brought me down and my mental health started deteriorating. My days consisted of dragging myself out of bed, going to school, gazing at my vagina to see if there was something wrong with it, and going to bed. I was unable to walk more than a few minutes without being in excruciating pain. I was not able to sit, wear underwear or pants, do any sort of physical exercise, and sex was completely out of the equation. I would just continuously check forums about vulvodynia with the hope to see people that healed. Some had been in pain for 20 years, some had healed thanks to acupuncture.
Feeling helpless…
Every treatment that I came across, which helped another person, I would try out for myself. It was disappointing because nothing was working for me and I began to wonder whether I would be one of the thousands of women that would be in pain for the rest of their lives.
I felt so lost and scared, bed-ridden with pain, anxiety and depression.
The pain was all consuming and it wasn’t long until my upper half of my body started becoming numb. I wondered if I had a neurological problem since my vaginal problem was also nerve related. So I went and got all these neurological tests, which came back clear, but shortly after I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid. I felt my world crumbling down. I was still too young to be suffering from all of this pain, however neither the medical community nor alternative therapies were offering solutions or relief.
I felt confused, worried, alone, and so misunderstood… but I was so determined to get better. I would not accept these symptoms of suffering for the rest of my life. After a lot of trial and error, I started pelvic floor therapy and psychotherapy. Pelvic floor therapy helped me relax my pelvis as I was carrying a lot of tension in it, but I knew there was more to layers to unravel.
Finally through an integrative somatic therapist, I started releasing the depth of my traumas that I was carrying in my body. Amazingly, my nervous system started regulating. I now knew I was safe and that all the abuse and sexual trauma I had endured, were slowly starting to resolve as I began to let go.
The fire alarm could no longer go off as I was tending to my body and listening to its needs. Healing trauma helped me make many improvements; as most of my pain improved and so did my mental health, although, I still had an inflamed pelvis.
It seemed that even though my pain had subsidized a lot, there was more to the equation than I had originally thought, but I couldn’t pin point what, as all doctors looked at different parts of me as separate, instead of looking my body as a whole.
I had a gyno, a rheumatologist, an endocrinologist, and a gastroenterologist
I had plenty of health issues but nobody was getting to the root cause, as they couldn’t figure out the missing pieces to complete the puzzle. Luckily, I finally found a pelvic pain specialist and even though they focused on the “pelvic” area, she actually addressed the body and the mind as a whole completely connected. I couldn’t believe I had ultimately found the missing piece for my healing through connecting all the different systems in the body.
I began to understand that our pelvic organs are not separate from our hormones, gut, or lymphatic system and through working with the mind and body; I was able to fully heal not only my vaginal pain but also my whole entire health and well-being.
Finally, I was not the sick girl anymore
I was not depressed in bed anymore, getting sore throats all the time. My thyroid wasn’t under-active anymore, and my IBS had healed. I understood that all systems in the body (and here I include the mind too), work together, and therefore they need to be addressed in conjunction with each other to be able to fully heal.
Now that I rid myself from pain, I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to study with the professionals that helped me and to fully understand how to create an environment for healing in the body. And now, I am so thrilled and excited to bring you these important healing techniques so you can heal too!
I hope we can work together soon to start your healing journey out of pain and suffering. You can have a beautiful life. Free. Wild. Pain free. You just have to believe. Put in the work. And implement the right techniques, which will help you heal. If this aligns with you, if you feel in your gut, heart and soul that this may be the answer you have been looking for, please feel free to reach out. I will not heal you, I will simply teach you the tools to heal yourself, and I will guide you back to yourself. Your body has the innate ability to heal. When you cut your finger it heals by itself… why can’t this be applied to all the other parts of your body?
I promise you healing is possible as I am proof!
Much love, Miriam.